Sometimes it’s just hard (or how you handle it when you’re missing your boyfriend)

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard. – Winnie the Pooh.”IMG_4092

You’re in another country for a longer time and have a boyfriend at home? It’s not easy, is it? And if you’re expecting a solution for this problem in this blog post, I’m sorry but I have to disappoint you. I don’t have a solution. When you love a person, you’ll miss them. That’s just the way it is and sometimes it’s hard.

The day my boyfriend left from his recent visit here in Dublin I was so sad that I felt like I could cry every second. I brought him to the airport and on the way back I did cry a lot. I thought: I can’t do this anymore, the time is just too long. I wanted to have him here, to be together with him, and he was gone. I was very sad for one day, but I knew somehow that on the next day I would feel a little bit better. And I did. It was okay to be sad and I did feel terrible. And it’s not like I’m sad only for just one day. The missing comes at different times – when you experience something really great and you think you’d like to share the moment with him and can’t, or when you have a certain memory of times together, or when you hear about something he’s done that you would have loved to do together with him and couldn’t because you’re here and he’s there. These are difficult times. Or when the evening comes and you’re alone … a lot of missing comes in the evening. And let me say it again: Sometimes it’s just hard.

But here’s my advice: Don’t worry! If I (the most emotional person in the whole world) can handle it, you can too. And the fact is, it works out day by day (I won’t mention the 1000 messages to my boyfriend “Honey, I miss you so much”). Here are a few things that help me make the best of the situation:

There is a good part in missing someone. The reunion! There is no better feeling than seeing your boyfriend after a long time. As the old quote says: Absence makes the heart grow fonder! When I picked up my boyfriend at the airport I had thousands of butterflies in my stomach. And I was so excited the whole day and I couldn’t stop smiling. And when I saw him, believe me, it was the same feeling I had on our first date.

And if we talk about the 1000 messages to my boyfriend (which I’m not mentioning ;-)), I’m really thankful that I have a boyfriend who gives me support when I need it. It’s so important for me that he is on my side and helps me. Sometimes just with a few words like: “Honey, you can do it”!

Very important for me here when I don’t want to be sad anymore is simply to remember why I’m here. And that is to have a great time, to discover a new country, to have an adventure, to learn a new language, to get to know a new family. I’m certainly not here to be sad. So I go out, meet some friends, do a lot of sports, travel and I just have some fun. Sure, I miss my boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t have a great time here.

And, of course, it is also important for me to be in contact with my boyfriend. I tell him everything about my days here, the good things and the bad things. I send him a lot of photos and share my experiences with him. And he does the same. He spend a lot of time with my family while I’m not there and the sends me photos of my nieces for example. And I love him for that because he know that I’m a family person and how important that is for me. So he takes care of them and takes my place during this time when I’m taking a place in a new family. And thank god we’re living in 2016 and we have something called skype. So we can talk and see each other easily and simply – at least in the virtual realm. And I’m really lucky that we’ve been able to arrange for visits during my time as an au pair in Ireland. He was here earlier in May and I will go to Germany for a holiday in August. Can’t wait to see him. :-)

So if you’re really sad because you’re missing your boyfriend, think about the moment of your reunion to come. That’s how I do it. :-)

Talk to you soon!

Ellen :-)


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